The Princess Diaries and Depositions

It occurs to me as I read about the investigation into the alleged Diana murder conspiracy that there are three classes of people who are particularly deserving of dignity:

- the deceased (or long-term comatose)
- royalty/nobility (eg. princesses, grand dukes, baronets and such)
- women (pardon the mild chauvinism)

And, oh, what the hell:

- people in general

While I find the concept of royalty to be embarrassingly superfluous, I do recognize the status of the formerly princesslike, formerly living ex-Princess ex-Diana (b. 1961 d. 1997) as falling into all of the four above categories.

Why is it, then, that this woman's private diaries, private letters, and private conversations with close friends and relatives are being aired publicly in a courtroom?

It turns out that her Egyptian pre-death boyfriend's father believes that the English royal family is behind a French murder conspiracy. A globetrotting, international, geopolitical murder conspiracy. Only instead of getting to watch Daniel Craig beat up thugs and seduce two women (one good, one bad) we have to listen to Diana's old butler testify about her relationship gossip.

The most tragic aspect of Diana's death is that her hair is forever cemented in large 80's styles that we did not yet know look really stupid.

So far we've found out that:

- Diana's mother called her a whore.
- Diana may or may not have been extramaritally pregnant.
- Diana may or may not have still been in love with her previous boyfriend when she was with Dodi Al-Fayed.
- America isn't the only country with a grossly negligent press.

Is any of this necessary? Is there any reason we couldn't remember Diana as a royally extraneous yet warmly charitable woman who died in a French tunnel accident rather than a one-woman soap opera who died in a French tunnel contrivance? Seriously, were the English royals to be implicated in this crime, would their dismantling cause so much distraction and such an emptiness in the hearts of their subjects that the costs would outweigh the justice? Could the Spice Girls be recalled from their world tour to replace the royal family?

There's something that Americans understand better than Egyptian department store magnates. Sometimes it doesn't matter if there's a conspiracy at the highest levels of institutional authority or not. If there isn't, you've wasted your time pursuing it. If there is, you've wasted your time pursuing it.

Rich and powerful people get what they want. That's the entire premise and subtext of wealth and power.

"Princess" Diana, Princess of Wales; mother, daughter, princess, girlfriend, wife to a prince, onetime step-heir to queenhood

Born in 1961 - died in 1997 - investigated in perpetuity

Her worshipfulness will live on in our hearts and our shitty magazines

(Just for fun... read this post again, but out loud and in a British accent. (Norfolk, of course!))